Emotional Intelligence is one of those buzz phrases that gets tossed around a lot in leadership development, for good reason. Emotional Intelligence is a not only a critical component you must possess as a leader, it’s actually a big factor in getting you that leadership role in the first place. Emotional Intelligence is just as important if you are not currently in a leadership role but aspire to lead at some point. In a 2011 Career Builder survey of more than 2,600 hiring managers and HR professionals, 71% said they valued Emotional Intelligence over IQ in general, and 75% said they’re typically more likely to promote an employee with high Emotional Intelligence and a comparatively lower IQ than one where that ratio is flipped.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence anyway? We know it’s important – higher Emotional Intelligence leads to higher salaries, more promotions and better to relationships – but what is it? Simply put, Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they’re telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.
Emotional Intelligence is made up of four components: self-awareness, self-management, social-awareness and relationship management. By understanding the different components of Emotional Intelligence, you can get a better grasp on your Emotional Intelligence strengths and shortcomings. The great thing about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be learned, practiced and you can improve. Today I am sharing the definitions of each components and some strategies for developing each so that you can improve your own Emotional Intelligence.
- Self-Awareness:Self-awareness is simply the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and also, the ability to control those emotions. It’s knowing yourself, your strengths and limitations and also the things that may trigger an emotional reaction.
Tips for building your self-awareness:
Observe the effects of your emotions in all situations.
Know your emotional triggers – what and who pushes your buttons.
Take some time to uncover and understand your values – often our emotional reactions arise because something or someone is stepping on our values.
- Self-Management: Self-management is dependent on your self-awareness. Once we have an awareness of our emotions and what our triggers are, we have to be able to manage those emotions. Self-management is what happens when you act or don’t act, it’s the ability to control your emotions so that they don’t control you.
Tips for building your self-management:
Take a breath. A great way to manage your reaction to emotional triggers is simply to take a breath and a moment before you act.
Actively practice self-care. Taking care of yourself gives your brain time to recharge. When you are rested you will be able to better manage your reactions.
Take control of your inner mean girl/guy. That nagging little voice in our heads that tells us all the things we do wrong is often a big reason why react to our triggers. By taking control of your negative self-talk you can better manage your reactions.
- Social Awareness: While self-awareness and self-management is all about understanding and controlling your emotions, social awareness is a skill that helps you better understand the emotions of those around you. It’s the ability to pick up on the emotions of others and see things from their point of view. This often means perceiving what other people are thinking and feeling even if you do not feel the same way.
Tips for building your social awareness:
Listen better! If you improve your listening skills you will be able to better hear and understand what others are really saying, allowing you to better read their reactions. If you need some help building your listening skills, check out this post.
People watch. Take some time and observe people in different settings. Pay close attention to interactions with other people. Be aware of what they say and how they say it.
Practice empathy. Put yourself in other people’s shoes when they are experiencing something. Take a moment to try and understand how they might be feeling by asking yourself how you might feel in that moment. You may not feel the same way, but it will help build your awareness of other’s emotions.
- Relationship Management: Relationship management is the final component of Emotional Intelligence and it often taps into the first three skills. Relationship management is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully. It is also the bond you build with others over time.
Tips for building your relationship management:
Acknowledge other people’s feelings. Take the time to acknowledge what other people are feeling, even if you don’t feel the same. It will go a long way in helping you build relationships.
Make sure your intention matches your impact. We all come to the table with the best of intentions, but we are judged by out impact on others. Take the time to check in with those around you to make sure you are having your intended impact.
Show you care. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Don’t be afraid to show people you care about them. That will go so much further in building relationships than showing how much you know.
Emotional intelligence is crucial for success both personally and professionally, it can mean a bigger salary, your next promotion and can help you build relationships both in and out of the office. Take some time to learn about the four components of Emotional Intelligence and how you do in all four. Expanding your Emotional Intelligence is always a good idea!
